Wednesday, January 02, 2008

New Friends and Old Friends by Joseph Parry

Make new friends, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.
New-made friendships, like new wine,
Age will mellow and refine.

Friendships that have stood the test -
Time and change - are surely best;
Brow may wrinkle, hair grow gray,
Friendship never knows decay.

For 'mid old friends, tried and true,
Once more we our youth renew.
But old friends, alas! may die,
New friends must their place supply.

Cherish friendship in your breast -
New is good, but old is best;
Make new friends, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

World's most beautiful couple: and the figures to prove it

By Roger Dobson

Published: 11 March 2007

It is the holy grail of the fashion and beauty industries: a scientific blueprint for the most beautiful women, and men, in the world.

Researchers have thrown away the old vital statistics and, instead, focused on how the dimensions of different parts of the body relate to height and body mass index (BMI) to give the perfect physique. Perhaps surprisingly, two of the most important measurements are the girth of the thigh and the slimness of the calf.

The researchers, from the University of Gdansk in Poland, studied the vital statistics of 24 finalists in a national beauty competition, together with those of 115 other women. They said that while weight, height and hip ratio were normally used to assess female attractiveness, these might not throw up crucial differences between the super-attractive and others.

For men, scientists said height, BMI, waist-to-hip and waist-to-chest ratios were key measures.

Super-attractive women had a thigh-to-height ratio some 12 per cent lower than other women, giving them a more slender look. Skinfold tests on the calf showed 15mm of fat compared with 18mm in other women.

The study also showed that the average super-attractive height was 5ft 9in, with the waist 76 per cent of the size of the chest, and 70 per cent of the size of the hips. Models built like Naomi Campbell came closest to the ideal.

"Attractiveness of a woman's body is one of the most important factors in mate selection, and the question what are the physical cues for the assessment of attractiveness is fundamental to evolutionary psychology," said Leszek Pokrywka, who led the study.

Perfect woman: Naomi Campbell

The vital statistics:

Body mass index 20.85

Bust girth to height 49.3%

Waist-chest ratio 1.4

Leg-to-body ratio 1.4

Calf girth to height 19.5%

Height 175cm

Thigh girth to height 29.7

What it all means:

"Super beautiful" women have waists a third smaller than their hips and three-quarters their bust measurement. They have longer legs, and slimmer thighs and calves than the average woman.

Perfect man: Christian Bale

The vital statistics:

Body mass index 26.5

Waist-chest ratio 0.6

Leg-to-body ratio 1

Height 188cm

What it all means:

The physically ideal man is more than 6ft tall, with legs the same length as his upper body. The leg-to-body ratio of 1 makes him appear more muscular, which is why the ideal BMI for men is higher than for women.


Friday, January 12, 2007

WHY AM I MARRIED?




You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.



At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,


"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."





A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:


"Husband Wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."



When a woman steals your husband,


there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.



A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished




A little boy asked his father,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."





A young son asked,

"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."




Then there was a woman who said,


"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late."



Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.




If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.



Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.



First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."




"A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods.
Because
Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "


AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!




Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.



So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."



The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up


Sunday, November 26, 2006

GATHERING TRIP.........YAHOO!!!

C'MON GALS AND GUYS. LET'S PLAN TO ORGANISE A TRIP ON DEC.....JUZ VOICE OUT WHERE YOU WANNA GO FOR THE TRIP...WHERE IS THE PLACE OF YOUR DREAM VACATION?? SUNNY BEACH?? COOL HIGHLAND? WHEREVER IT IS, JUZ SHOUT IT OUT....
IT'S TIME TO CATCH UP ON EACH OTHER AFTER HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION. MISS THOSE TIME WE SHARED TOGETHER? DON JUZ MISS IT, LET ALL THOSE MEMORY BE REALITY... I THINK WE'LL HAVE LOTS OF FUN REAL SOON...AGREE??

Friday, November 24, 2006

Toilet humour?

Excellent poems by not so famous poets...
found on toilet doors and walls..........

A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Another to be poet, he wrote this below that...

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.

I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...

Sign seen at a family restaurant toilet wall: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food... please aim properly.

Happy reading! Haha... winkie-wynken.blogspot.com

Sunday, November 12, 2006

funny bahasa malaysia....u gotta read this... :p

Murid : selamat pagi,cikgu.
Cikgu : (menengking) mengapa selamat pagi sahaja?petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?
Murid : selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!
Cikgu : panjang sangat!tak pernah dibuat oleh orang!kata selamat sejahtera!senang dan penuh bermakna.lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.
Murid : selamat sejahtera cikgu!
Cikgu : sama-sama,duduk!dengar sini baik-baik.
hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan.bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya,kamu mesti menjawab dengan cepat,lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu,faham?
Murid : faham,cikgu!
Cikgu : saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.
Murid : (senyap)
Cikgu : pandai!
Murid : bodoh!
Cikgu : tinggi!
Murid : rendah!
Cikgu : jauh!
Murid : dekat!
Cikgu : keadilan!
Murid : UMNO!
Cikgu : salah!
Murid : betul!
Cikgu : bodoh!
Murid : pandai!
Cikgu : bukan!
Murid : ya!
Cikgu : oh Tuhan!
Murid : oh Hamba!
Cikgu : dengar ini!
Murid : dengar itu!
Cikgu : diam!
Murid : bising!
Cikgu : itu bukan pertanyaan,bodoh!
Murid : ini ialah jawapan,pandai!
Cikgu : mati aku!
Murid : hidup kami!
Cikgu : rotan baru tau!
Murid : akar lama tak tau!
Cikgu : malas aku ajar kamu!
Murid : rajin kami belajar cikgu!
Cikgu : kamu gila!
Murid : kami siuman!
Cikgu : cukup!cukup!
Murid : kurang!kurang!
Cikgu : sudah!sudah!
Murid : belum!belum!
Cikgu : mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?
Murid : sebab saya seorang pandai!
Cikgu : oh!melawan!
Murid : oh!mengalah!
Cikgu : kurang ajar!
Murid : cukup ajar!
Cikgu : habis aku!
Murid : kekal kami!
Cikgu : OK pelajaran sudah habis!
Murid : KO pelajaran belum bermula!
Cikgu : sudah,bodoh!
Murid : belum,pandai!
Cikgu : berdiri!
Murid : duduk!
Cikgu : saya kata UMNO salah!
Murid : kami dengar keadilan betul!
Cikgu : bengang kamu ni!
Murid : cerdik kami tu!
Cikgu : rosak!
Murid : baik!
Cikgu : kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!
Murid : kami dilepaskan tengah malam itu!
Cikgu : (senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Best of Luck... =D

halo boys n gals out there... juz wana wish those taking exam in weeks 2come the bestest of luck... daniel n may joan... i guess ur xm r almost till the end dy... add oil wo... ai rin, chiau wei, michelle, boo, eunice, kai xin, karen, ee theng n yi ling... left around 2weeks... put in ur vry best gals... i know u all can do it... william's finals coming soon oso... not mistaken, weng kien's xm coming oso... haha... gd luck2both of u...
4those who r not taking xm 4the time being, take care n stay happy always... Smile... =P
cindy n adrian who r far away from us, wish u guys the best... don worry b happy...
vi vian, u r coming bec real soon rite??? we owe u a date... tat's a deal...
lastly, my darling muhe... when r u coming 2muar 2c all of us... we miss u so badly... :)
~Chua aka 'Chuaki' aka Shi Hui~

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